Mid-Ramadan musings

by - Wednesday, June 22, 2016

Honestly, where does all the time go?

It feels like just a few days ago we were getting ready for Ramadan - cleaning the whole house, checking the freezer and kitchen cupboards, getting all the big shopping done so we wouldn't have to hungry-shop (we all know how this ends!). I also planned to actually blog about those preparations, but it seems like I blinked and the Ramadan has already started!

Never mind - with all that preparation done, I was hoping that not worrying about food for the whole day I could concentrate more on the spiritual side. Because, let's be honest - I don't think I've used my previous two Ramadans to the full, and wasn't exactly perfect in between them too. I got myself this beautiful copy of the Quran, with amazing tafseer, and set myself a goal - I wasn't really planning to read the whole Quran this month (I can't read Arabic anyway, and with translation being slightly longer it's quite a task), but instead I wanted to concentrate on the tafseer and go deeper into the understanding of it. It was going well for the first few days.

But then, I have my hyperactive toddler. I always feel a little bit of envy, seeing other Muslim mums engaging their kids into all sorts of educational activities, all the books they read, all the arts and crafts they make. And I don't even mean strictly Islamic activities. He's my little thunderball, won't ever sit still to read a book, not to mention any kind of drawing, crafts, flash cards etc. All he's interested in - his toy cars. At least when he's watching any YouTube videos, it's usually some form of education in disguise ;)

This stubborn little ball of energy needs taking outside, and on rainy days when we stay in, he wants all of my attention. And I guess in his mind books are those horribly boring things, because whenever I'd pick my Quran seeing him play quietly, he'd instantly spot it and try to snatch it from me ;)

Anyway - I'm currently having my short break from fasting, and took these past couple of days to think about Ramadan so far. 

Half of the month has already gone, and I was feeling that I failed. Yes, I was keeping my fast (apart from the day when I got sick), I was making an effort to keep up with the prayers... But I was still feeling like I'm wasting this great opportunity to improve myself.

And then a sister in the Muslimah Bloggers' Facebook group shared this post, which changed my perspective a bit. 

I really needed this. I really didn't "feel" Ramadan so far. I was disappointed with myself, that I can't follow the plans I made, that I'm not doing the extra effort.

This was the reminder I needed - reminder, that spending all this time with Adam, doing my best caring for him, that's considered worship, by fulfilling the role given to me by Allah. That looking after him and taking him out so Hubby can sleep after his night shift, making sure the food is ready early so he can take it to work and have his iftar and suhoor there, that's worship.

There's still nearly two weeks of Ramadan left. I'll be resuming the fast in couple of days, and by this time I'm hoping to change my attitude. If I can get my spirit up, it's not too late to still benefit from this special month.

I'll make this second half of the month count!

In sha Allah.

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  1. Long time I did not visit your blog (and any other), I am happy I came back and I did read this post sister. I know exactly how you feel and you are definitely not alone. I have an active toddler, part time job and a home to take care for as well. I always try to prepare nice Iftar for myself, my husband and any guests and same as you many times I felt I did not do enough in spiritual aspect. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. Inshallah Allah will reward our efforts and help us to improve.

  2. nice article about islam i am waiting for your next post
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