Mummy's babble - good enough?

Thursday, December 05, 2013

I'm not a perfect mother.

I can't always guess why Adam is crying. Sometimes he's changed, fed, had a nap, and yet when we go out for a walk, he's crying so hard I'm worried he might be in pain.

Sometimes I forget he might need a nappy change and realise after quite a while.

I've always planned to exclusively breastfeed my baby, at least until the time for weaning would come. Well, tough mummy - little Mr decided he's hungry for more than I can give him.

Initially I decided I won't give him a dummy. I think I gave up after a month.

I would love Adam to have a bedtime routine. Yeah... For the first couple of months he was breastfed on demand, meaning that one time he would be happy for 3 hours, and then have only an hour between the feeds. As he grew older and I was still feeding him round the clock, I kinda realised he's simply not satisfied with my milk any more and we slowly got onto a bottle.

I don't obsessively sterilise everything. I DO sterilise his bottles, but being lazy me I choose some easy options, instead of spending ages boiling everything. As for the dummy, if it drops it gets rinsed with some boiled water from the kettle. Same for the teethers.

I rock him to sleep. I can't bear his exhausted crying when he can't fall asleep.

Adam co-sleeps with us. At first we were terrified of it, thinking we would surely squash him. But then Hubby worked nights, I just let Adam sleep next to me... And now that the nights got colder, we can't help but think that he isn't as warm in his cot as he is with us. 

I don't always iron his clothes. Mos of the time it's just pointless, he spends all his time rolling either on the bed or the floor. Moreover, he'll get it dirty in a flash and need changing. And  if we go out his shirts usually get wrinkly by the time he's strapped in his car seat. 

He sleeps on my pregnancy U-shaped pillow. I know he probably shouldn't, but for some reason he just won't sleep without it, flat on the mattress.


But does it all make me a bad mother?

I may not breastfeed as I wanted, but at least I know my baby is well-fed. He's growing and putting on weight just as he should, and I don't feel like milky cow with only one purpose in life.

He might be sleeping with us every night, but at least all of us get a good night sleep. He even go himself into a routine, and now is always asleep around 8:30 pm and up around 7 am, only wriggling a little during the night.

I might have a problem with getting him off the dummy later, but if it soothes him and lets him sleep without crying for an hour, then yes, he'll have one.



What else could I want? I love him. I know he loves me back, even though he can't tell me. I know he loves me when he gives me a cheeky smile while trying to crawl off his playmat onto the carpet. When he gives me a sleepy smile after I cuddle him to sleep. When he wakes up and smiles seeing our faces. When he "talks" back to us. When he reaches out to touch our faces. 

We have a happy baby. We are trying our best. We are good parents.




You Might Also Like

2 comments

  1. Jaki sliczny, Mashallah! Gratuluje wam takiego slodziaka! Kiedo zobaczylam to zdjecie to od razu przypomnial mi sie synek mojej kolezanki. Uwierz mi podobienstwo jest uderzajace (ten sam usmiech i podbrodek). Pozdrawiam

    ReplyDelete
  2. hah... It felt like I was reading my own thoughts from times when my boys were born. You're not the only one trying to be a perfect mum and not quite getting where you wanted to be. Obviously it doesn't make you a bad mother, it's just pure life verifying our plans ;) So just keep on being fab mummy without planning ahead! :)

    ReplyDelete

Comments are moderated and manually approved by me before appearing on the site - please be patient. Abusive language and spam will not be tolerated.